she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
