So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
