she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
