this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
