my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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