false alarm. still invincible.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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