mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
