I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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