I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
