sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
