Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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