you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
