Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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