put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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