i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
