At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
