told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
