did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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