whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
do nipples grow back?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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