My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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