WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
