Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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