Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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