you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
