I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
