He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
