i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
