ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
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