She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm like, not good at living.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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