we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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