fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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