if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
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I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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