no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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