Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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