He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
