I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
thus making me awesome and them whores
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
