Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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