what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
