I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
