I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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