id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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