It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
