the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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