just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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