i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
