Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
