By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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