HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
