The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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