My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize