hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
