He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
