i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My ATM looks so different sober.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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