i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
