I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
