I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
