the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
