So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
