Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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