i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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