Are we in a gay sports bar?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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