Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
