Already got asked if we're dating
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
