I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
